Listening is something most of us don’t do, and definitely something we can all work on, myself included. I’m sure all of you had said or opened your mouth in a particular situation where it would have been better to keep quiet. Let’s be honest, we all are guilty of it, but listening is something that can definitely be worked on and greatly improved. Listening is something we do everyday throughout our interactions with others. You never know what you will learn when you listen to people.
Early on in my life I was always considered a quiet person, but I was completely content with that. I do believe I am a natural introvert, but bring out my some of my extrovert qualities when I want to. I am the type of person that if I am around a large group of people for a few hours, I am eventually going to need time to myself to recharge and decompress. I’ve realized many things throughout myself thus far as being a born introvert. When you’re not constantly the one speaking you actually learn more about yourself, and others. I try and surround myself with like minded people as much as I possibly can. I take note to myself that whenever I am around people that are smarter than me, I just sit back, listen and ask powerful questions. I do think this comes natural for me because I work in sales, and am used to being the one in charge of the conversation and asking probing questions. Remember, in any conversation the one asking the questions is usually the one who has the most power. That’s just been my experience thus far in my life, and a general sales tactic you hear from any successful sales professional. The more you get people talking, the more they will listen to what you have to say.
Let’s take dating women for example. When a man and woman come together and form a relationship, it creates a bond and connection between the two (let’s hope so). Most women will tell you that they really like it when their husband/boyfriend listens to them. It makes them feel heard and understood. All women want to feel heard and understood. This took me awhile to understand. I’ll admit I am a terrible listener and struggle with it. It’s something I work on consistently in my everyday life through every interaction. I remember past girlfriends saying to me, “Will you never listen to me.” Women remember EVERYTHING!! I swear it’s engrained in their minds to remember everything. Most men forget the little things that women remember. Over time when you begin to not listen to the woman in you’re in a relationship with, she will start to fall out of love. Again, going back to my main point of this article. LISTENING. Women want to feel heard and understood, and when that begins to dwindle, you’re in deep trouble my friend. See, as men it’s in our biological nature to be the fixers of everything. We think that we could just fix every problem their is on this earth, including the problems/struggles your wife/girlfriend may be going through at the moment. But, the important thing to remember is that you’re your woman’s emotional rock, and you’re the one she is turning to when she wants to feel loved and heard. And the best thing to do is just ask her questions on how she is feeling, and sit back and listen. Repeat back to her what she is telling you, and just watch as she nods her head in response. And by listening to her and repeating back to her what she is saying, you’ll remember more and train your brain to remember better.
I think it’s also a great idea to tell your wife/girlfriend and say, “Hey babe, I feel that I need to work on listening better.” Just wait for her response and see what she says.