Most of you reading this have probably never really asked yourself this question. Are you truly a good communicator?
Well, I think the first thing to ask yourself is, “How are your listening skills?” If the answer is yes, then you’re probably a pretty decent communicator. If the answer is no, or you’re not really sure then let’s take a loot at why. All of us have various ways of communicating, whether that be with a romantic partner, friend, business partner, family member, etc. The world operates around communication and story telling, and how we communicate with each other is a very telling sign of our relationships in life. In this article I am going to be discussing some ways you can decipher if you are a good communicator, and how you can become a better communicator.
I think one of the ways to tell if you’re a good communicator is simply ask. Ask yourself first of all, but ask your romantic partners, friends, colleagues, etc. Ask them what they think of your communication skills, and tell them to be honest with you about it. Ask them if they feel heard in your relationship with them. This will be a tell tale sign if they think you are a good listener. We all want to feel heard as humans, and that’s a great first step to improve your communication skills. When we are open with one another, we feel heard. Which leads me to my next point on communication.
How open are you with others in your life. Now, obviously you probably don’t share everything with anyone that you come across in your life. But, close friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend. How much are you sharing with these people in your life with whom you have close relationships with. You may have gotten the statement at some point in your life, “You feel so closed off all the time, or why are you so quiet?” I know I got that a lot when I was younger, and it used to make me so angry when people would say that to me. When you are open and vulnerable with yourself, your communication with others will be open and you will feel heard. Which leads me to my last point on discussing ways that show if you are a good communicator.
The last point I wanted to mention on communication is being present. Most of us have extremely busy lives, and we forget to live in the present. But, most importantly we need to learn to communicate while being in the present. I myself, experience this all the time. I am constantly thinking about my past or future, and I forget to live in the present, which in result affects my communication patterns. I’m just “not there.” I am sure most of you can relate to what I am saying.
Some takeaways I want you to have. Ask yourself first, “Do I think I am a good communicator?” Then ask the people closest to you in your life. What are my listening skills like, and how can I get better? Am I being open with the people I am communicating with? And most importantly, how present am I in my everyday life, and how is that affecting my communication patterns…