I’m sure you’ve found yourself asking this question about how to build a connection with a woman. It’s wired in our genes that we as men are problem solvers. We like to “fix things.” Women connect with men and their girlfriends on feelings and emotions. What I’ve experienced when connecting with women is that make decisions about men based on how they made them feel. It’s almost like the saying “People aren’t going to remember what you did for a living, how you make your money, etc. but how YOU made them feel. It’s pretty much the same with women, they want a guy in their life that listens to them, someone they connect with, and someone who makes them feel great about themselves.
As humans we have surface level conversations and deeper meaningful conversations. You don’t connect with someone when having surface level conversations. You connect with someone when they are opening up about something or an experience, and you are too. Same thing goes for women. You’re never going to connect with a woman you’re trying to date if you aren’t moving past those surface level conversations. A great example I like to bring up and I’ve used this myself when on dates with women is “How did that make you feel?” A girl is sharing an experience with you and you could really tell she’s opening up about, and at the end you just go “that sounded cool.” In her mind she’s probably saying I just told this guy an experience I felt excited about and he has nothing to say. She’s also probably saying this guy may or may not be a terrible listener. Ask follow up questions, repeat back to her what she just told you. This is also in general when connecting with other people, when you repeat back what the other person is telling you, it tells them in their minds that you were actually listening. Another great follow up question to ask, “How did that make you feel?” Remember, as I mentioned earlier, bring up questions that spark feelings in a woman, whether that be past, present or future feelings.
If you talk about what your passionate about and enjoy doing this will give her the space to open up to you as well. Women want to feel safe, and by you doing this she will feel vulnerable and be willing to share with you.