Keeping up with the Joneses:
“Is an idiom in many parts of the English-speaking world referring to the comparison to one’s neighbor as a benchmark for social class or the accumulation of material goods. To fail to keep up with the Joneses is perceived as demonstrating socio-economic or cultural inferiority.”
Why do we do this as humans?
I remember growing up and hearing this phrase tossed around my household. My dad would always say,
“Most people don’t own anything when you really look at things.”
Their house is owned by the bank, along with their cars, and everything else. If you took away someone’s job from them, they might lose it all. The majority of people over-leverage themselves to keep up with others around them. Now, as I’m older I realize more and more how right my dad was and still is to this day.
Part of me believes that as humans, the drive to keep up with the Joneses is rooted deeply in our psychological well being. Many of us are looking for a void to fill in our lives. We feel empty inside. Something is missing. We just can’t point out exactly what that is. We think a flashy car, a big house, a fast speedboat, etc. is going to fill that void. For some of us, it could be clothing. You name it, any fancy toy. It could really be anything. I think those of you reading this right now who own an expensive luxury car would be lying to yourself if you didn’t say,
“I wonder what people think of me when they see me in my car. Or, oh boy I’m going to impress them for sure.”
When we look at today’s society, we are constantly bombarded with marketing directives that are targeted for us specifically. We see people on social media, television, etc. Buy this, and people will like you! We want to be like them. We say, “I wish I had what they had. I wonder what it’s like to be them and have all that money and freedom.” It’s okay, I’ve told myself that too. I think it’s only natural to tell ourselves those things when we are constantly having marketing tactics thrown in our faces. It’s never going to stop. Marketing and advertisements are going to keep increasing. People are going to keep buying things they don’t need, which they hope will make them happier. They want to be seen. People will go into personal credit card debt in order to impress people they don’t know or don’t care about. It’s a never ending cycle of uncontrollable consumption.
Many of us think “things” will make us happy. Yet, maybe these “things” give us short term happiness. Like the car I mentioned above, or the fast boat. But, at the end of the day it’s just a car, or it’s just a boat. After awhile you’ll realize, that now you’re ready for the next big thing, and the cycle continues. We always want more more more. I can say for myself that experiences make me the happiest in life. Going to new places, trying new restaurants, meeting new people, going to seminars, spending money on my health, etc.
Becoming wealthy takes time. Overspending is only going to set you back, and actually do the opposite. Most people who drive fancy cars are actually broke. Not all of them, but most are. They overspend, have high expenses, and at the end of the day have very little money left over at the end of the month. Now, ask yourself if that’s a life you want to live? What are your financial goals? You’ll most likely find that you don’t need much in life to be happy. It’s okay to have nice things, I’m not saying it’s wrong. But, don’t buy them to impress other people or someone in particular. You might think you’re better than everyone else. Well, you’re not, sorry.
Buy things that make you happy, and make others around you happy as well. Buy things that benefit your health and mind, soul, and spirit. Spend money on yourself. Invest in yourself constantly. Buy things that make your family happy. Something that they’ll never forget. Give, give, and keep giving. Give your time, and give your money away. Donate to a cause that changes someone or something in which you believe in.
I remember a professor in college told me,
“I don’t know if money can buy happiness, but money sure doesn’t make me sad.”
Okay, I get it. Spend money on the things that make you happy and make others happy. Spend money on the change you want to see in the world.
And don’t keep up with the Joneses. You’ll get stuck..