We all have flaws..
Some of you may think that the word “perfect” exists. The perfect person, the perfect job, the perfect marriage, the perfect life, etc. I seriously ask you to think again.
Humans weren’t made to be perfect. We were made to be real. To feel real things. Real beings that are constantly growing and making mistakes. Take romantic relationships for example. You meet someone new. The first few months are awesome. You can’t stop thinking about this person. You’re having sex all the time. You can’t stop touching each other whenever you’re around this person. Then a few months goes by and you realize,
“Oh shit, this person has flaws. I guess they aren’t perfect after all.”
But, what happened? A few months ago I thought this person was perfect…… I thought my relationship was perfect, or at least that’s what I wanted people to think. You see, when we get into relationships, we have to come to the realization that his person we’re about to share our life with is going to have flaws, just like ourselves. I learned this the hard way many times in my life.
They’re going to fuck up. They’ll probably say something eventually that’s going to make us angry or sad. You, yourself will probably do the same at some point. You’ll have these mini fights and disagreements. You’ll question your relationship, and ask yourself, “Is this right?” You’ll grow together, or you’ll grow apart. You’ll stay together, or you’ll eventually go your separate ways. Life goes on. We have no idea what the future holds, but we have the ability to create it. Maybe it wasn’t meant to last forever. Who knows. I always say to myself with everything in life,
“I don’t know.”
Because we really don’t know. We have the ability in life to create our future, but we really don’t know. The only thing we have at this very moment, is the present. Saying “I don’t know” will set you free. Accepting your partners flaws will set you free. Accepting them for who they are will set you free. Much easier said than done. But, it will. Finding acceptance with your flaws will give you freedom. Freedom in life. And freedom to be who you truly are in your relationships and in life.
So, how do we know what our flaws are in life? Well, the first step is to accept that you’ll always have flaws. Ask people in your life who are closest to you. Could be friends, family, romantic partner, etc. I found for me, keeping a journal and writing down my thoughts worked really well. It doesn’t have to be everyday, whatever works for you. Notice how your thinking changes over time, and what kind of feedback people give you in your life. We’re always getting feedback in life, well at least I hope so. Take that feedback, take a step back, and understand where others are coming from. Why are they saying certain things that pertain to you and a flaw they recognize? Immerse yourself around as many people as possible.
Challenge your way of thinking. As humans, we should constantly be challenging our way of thinking. That’s how we grow. We learn new things, and apply it in our lives. We hang out with people that are doing the things and taking the action we want to see in our own lives. Try something new. Do something that scares the fucking shit out of you. Approach that girl. Approach that guy. Say something in a business meeting that you’re not sure if you should say or not. Have the difficult conversation with your boss you know you should have had months ago. Have the difficult conversation with your spouse. Recognize the limitations you place upon yourself. Notice where you usually put the brakes on in life when it comes to your personal and professional limitations. Do you ever feel resistance in life?
We all have resistance in life. I struggle with with this immensely. I have resistance in my professional life when it comes to sales. I resist saying things I want to say in my personal life, with the fear of offending people or the fear of being turned down. There’s this big thing in front of all of our faces, which is fear. Fear is what holds us back on achieving what we want in our life. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failing. Fear of looking like an idiot. Fear of putting ourselves out there. Fear of embarrassment. We all tell this story to ourselves. Calculating risk is something we do on a daily basis. The higher the risk the higher reward. What do we resist, and how can we get better on overcoming the things we resist as human beings?
There are obviously many ways we can find out what our flaws are as human beings. Personal growth is a journey. Always growing, always changing. But, recognizing things you need to work on is a start. And that journey of self-realization is a never ending journey. We’re all just imperfect human beings trying to live a life we’re proud of. Never stop the self-actualization. We all have flaws, and need to accept them.